Gir why is there bacon in my soap

Well, halfway through the meal, she disappeared to the bathroom, only to return with two milk jugs full of water. If I think I can hold it, it's only about a five minute walk from my place," she continued. It made sense to me.

Not only did you get free toilet flushes, toilet paper, soap, and save wear on your own toilet seat — wait, hold on, something wasn't adding up. Where did those milk jugs come from? That way you could turn it into biodiesel, and drive to work for free! With this proposal, Pat's face grew grim.

It seemed that scamming hot oil out of a restaurant kitchen was a good way to get burned, and it's very difficult to make your own skin grafts on the cheap, even if you do get some expired bacon from the same grocery store dumpster. Frugality, it seemed, had its limit. Besides, an electric car is much easier to charge from the block heater outlets in the employee parking. Autumn, the season of spooks and scary skeletons. The sunsets are earlier and the nights get colder, you hardly mind though since it means that you can cuddle up closer to your boyfriend as the two of you watch some of your favorite movies of the season.

During a commercial break, your screen was filled with seasonal promotions of pumpkin spice-flavored everything. It will be gone soon then you can be annoyed with other things. You however are not focused on the film rather the beginnings of what you may call a brilliant plan.

The plan was to buy as many pumpkin spice-flavored items as possible to stash around the house. If a few commercials were enough to bother him as much as it did the other night then you have no idea what this would do to him. He may blow up the house but that seems to be a worst-case scenario. Weighing the consequences of your action never had been a strength of yours so you may have used his credit card to pay for the goods.

Katsuki just returned from a work trip which gave you all the time in the world to spring your plan into motion. Every candle, soap, and household cleaner was replaced. The house smelled like Bath and Bodyworks Purgatory but you were had grown accustomed to the scent and were no longer bothered by the constant assault to your nostrils.

A shuffling in the bedroom signaled to you that your boyfriend was awake and ready to be teased. He sleepily walking into the kitchen seating himself on a stool at the Island. Katsuki stands making his way over to you at the stove wrapping his arms around your waist pressing his face into your neck.

Now go sit so I can finish up. Katsuki looks down at his breakfast and it finally clicks that something is off. On the surface, it looks to be a cute homemade stack of Pancakes a few pieces of Bacon with a small bowl of yogurt sprinkled with granola. But upon further inspection, the pancakes and the yogurt seem to have an orange tint to them, even the pat of butter on top seems to be speckled.

As do the pancakes. He is eerily silent as he picks a piece of granola off of his parfait. When he tastes the spiced oat cluster he looks like he is about to lose it. As he walks over to you you double over with the laughter you had been holding in all morning. It is so intense your legs give out from under you forcing Katsuki to catch you before you hit the ground. Especially when you hear his swearing coming from the bathroom after he found the scented roll of toilet paper.

Katsuki comes back into the kitchen and looks at you with more confusion in his gaze than anything else. Looking at you his gaze softens because he could never truly be mad at you for something like this so he just shrugs defeatedly and sits back down to finish his food. After finishing up Katsuki kisses softly on the lips. You got me good. As Katsuki goes to get ready to go into the agency you sit on the bed smirking into your coffee cup you wait patiently for the Nail in the Coffin.

A few hours later, Katsuki opens his gym bag and his heart sinks. Front and Center atop his clean and folded gym clothes sits a single Pumpkin Spice flavored Protein bar packed by you with love Would be able to write something with Heath Ledger Joker where the reader cuts their hand on accident while making dinner and J gets really scared and tries to help them as much as he could?

And it would just be a cute fic! Thank you:. J had emerged from the bathroom only a moment ago, freshly showered, at your behest, and dressed comfortably in a pair of royal purple pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt; thick steam still clung to his hair from the heat of the water and little water droplets leaked from the tips of his split ends.

J never took long showers relying on the intense heat as an excuse and you had, within that small window of time, created a meal that could have fed dozens. He spotted some blueberry muffins that looked appetizing and he could feel his stomach rumbling as it begged him for food. J consumed only what he had on hand that could be prepared with haste; not oncehad he fixed himself a proper meal in years. It had been several days since the last time you had prepared him a meal and it had been long overdue for you to fill his body with something other than junk food.

You needed something with more nutritional value than a damned pop tart. Every time he looked at you it melted your heart just a little bit more and perhaps that was the strangest part of having fallen in love with the man; nothing made any sense when you were with J and that was the thing you loved most about him.

You walked toward him, into his open and waiting arms, he knew you well enough to know a hug had been eminent and let him hug you. The top of your head just reached his chin and J always rested it atop your head as he would relax in against the full-bodied embrace. He made you feel so small, but so carefully protected and loved.

Much larger was he than you and you loved it every bit as much as you could think of other things about him which you loved. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead and his large hands rubbed your back as he held you close.

You could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage, its own beating echoing against yours and melding with it. Your breathing stuttered as his hands slipped lower to your hips only to hold you against him with more firmness, never quite ready to let go; J protected what was his. A deep grumble was your only response as he enveloped you, body so close you wondered if it might fuse to your own. His warmth was so inviting and lovely But just as you were getting comfortable it was over.

He let you go in favor of sitting in his usual seat at the table and digging into his meal. You watched him with barely concealed amusement as he loaded his plate with food. You had been intuitive to craft a large meal for him. J had the largest appetite you had ever witnessed; any amount of food was never too much. You had even gone to the trouble of making a large fruit salad, something you had always enjoyed having for breakfast long before you had ever known him. You turned and put your back to him as you began to finish slicing some bread you had made the night before as your thoughts traveled back onto J and how, directly behind you now, he ate with vigor and it brought a smile to your face.

You became lost in the task at hand as you grinned, pleased with yourself for a job well-done and how you were able to give him something he sincerely appreciated from what you could tell.

J looked up briefly from his meal to assess what was taking place. He watched intensely as you wrapped a few paper towels around your finger to stop the bleeding as you whimpered a little bit.

J hoisted you up and made you to sit on the counter while he retreated back to the bathroom to retrieve some bandages for your injured finger. While he was away, you had a quick look at the cut and you were surprised to have noted that it was barely much more than a scratch; you had accidentally given yourself much worsecuts than this and you silently wondered what all the fuss was about?

J was behaving as if he needed to keep you preoccupied so that you would not be aware of how bad it was. When he returned only moments later, he carried a thick roll of gauze with him and several sizes of bandages. J only grunted and, deeming that the only type of response you were to receive, you resigned yourself to allowing him to get you bandaged up as you watched him turn on the faucet and check the temperature.

You gulped and averted your gaze from him as he shut off the kitchen sink and grabbed the hand towel to dry you off. You only looked up again when you heard him begin ripping into the gauze and bandaid packaging. He seemed to be trying to determine which size made the most sense to use and the absurdity of the scene made you giggle out loud.

J fixed you with a look and it all clicked into place. Without another would did you let him bandage you and check to make sure that the dressing fit snugly but did not hinder movement or circulation. Once he had effectively cared for the wounded digit, he stepped back and allowed you to hop down from the counter. You stumbled from the height of your leap and nearly toppled into him, to which he welcomed the closeness and encased you in another bear hug. Seeing you with a smile on your face after he had cared for you was all that he needed; you were all right.

He carefully pushed the bowl of fresh fruit closer to you and watched to see if you would accept. With a smile, you grabbed yourself a plate and scooped some fruit onto it. It was worth the wait. How could you love a man so much that nothing ever made you feel halfas good as he did? How could you find a way to show him how good he made you feel, when nothingwas as good as him in comparison?

How was anythingas good as him when he was the bestthing to ever happen to you? Things were brighter now. You had lived through the cold and deadly night, only to re-emerge on the other side, into the bright light of day, hand in hand with the man you loved. J was a man of action and he set you to rights on how he felt; you showed him the way you felt in reciprocation to his own displays.

It was true that J had not eaten for the last couple of days and it pained you that he had little concern for his own health or wellbeing. The only thing that kept him going was that he had to remain well to care for you.

J could not let himself deteriorate because you were his top priority now; he had what felt like a brand new life to live for and the crime-ridden streets of Gotham could wait for as long as he needed them to.

J finished his meal quickly that morning. As a matter of fact, it was the fastest you had ever seen him eat. Jason Voorhees: Super crusty. Each kiss comes with free nibblies, i. Jesus cannot save. Michael Myers: Not bad. Dehydrated, but not dry. His skin is tough as nails. Additionally, the mask protects his smackers from weather damage. No chapstick, no need. Good on you, Mike. Freddy Krueger: Bruh. First, give him some skin to moisturise.

If the chapstick is tinted red, it will look like tomato sauce on a pair of burnt sausages. Do not even bother. It is usually crunchy, but can be floppy as well. GIR himself is known for liking bacon ironic, considering that his best friend is a pig , and once made the mistake of hugging his master while covered in pizza grease; panicked, Zim tried to clean off the stuff with a piece of soap that happened to have bacon in it.

It was this grease on his face that gave rise to the pus-filled head growth known as Pustulio. Professor Membrane Ms. Bitters Almighty Tallest Recap Kid. Minimoose Roboparents Invader Skoodge Tak. And then, at one of those black tie parties, in a corner with the cocktail bar, Zim meets Skoodge.

Remember me? You saved me back in 23! But he keeps on running into Skoodge afterwards. Skoodge talks to him. Skoodge listens to him. Skoodge knows him, knows him as Zim, not Zames, and actually cares what he thinks. True, Skoodge is clumsy and kind of dumb and a little ugly, and Zim likes to remind him of all his flaws.

But Zim loves him. And Zim loves him. I wish someone helped you. Bob offers and Zim knocks it away. He thinks he has a hole in him. Zim jumps off a building and tells everyone he slipped. He breaks both legs and crushes half a skull. He straightens the red bomber jacket and slicks his hair.

Zim glares at everyone and rants at every little thing. His favorite thing to do is drive in the rain and splash puddles on everyone nearby. And then he slams the brake just in time to avoid hitting a bump in the road, a child in bright green.

So he rides off, and screams when he turns around because the kid is right there behind him. He screams and laughs and does everything with thrice the vigor of another child. Because Gir likes bouncing after him whenever Zim comes by. Sometimes Zim brings muffins and piggy toys and whatever it takes to shut the kid up.

And when Gir starts crying in the middle of the road, Zim scoops him up and takes him for ice cream. Nobody cares that a half blind veteran with no relatives, a history of depression, suicidal behavior, PTSD, drug abuse, physical assault, and prostitution, adopts Gerald. Zim knows why. And he thinks about what Skoodge said. He had been a child. In the afternoon, he takes Gir for a spin on the bike. They feed ducks until Gir scares them away.

Then they steal a box of girl scout cookies and climb up a tree. At night, Zim watches Gir watch TV and play with a box of crayons. Nothing replaces Skoodge, but nothing replaces Gir.

He designed it and Gir helped paint. Sometimes he remembers- and he falls into those little spirals of dark. But then Zim sees Gir and he thinks he has everything he needs, at least.